Why is saying no important? Because every time you say no to something or someone, it creates the space for a yes to something or someone else.
This is a topic that really resonates with me and is very much present in the way I do things on a day-to-day basis. And it’s one of those things that you can apply to pretty much any area of your life!
Let’s be clear here by the way that this is not a technique to use on talking to our kids. NO in general a harsh way to bring things for kids (they hear it a lot too), brings up lots of resistance and can create conflict. I’ll talk about how to say NO in different words and setting boundaries in another post.
This post is about saying NO to things so we can create clarity as to what gets a YES. Because our time, energy and attention is precious.
By the way, even though I’m super practical and not into woo woo stuff I have been in the past years more and more convinced of the power of the law of attraction. The law of attraction is (in very simple terms) that we bring in what we put out there. Like tuning in to the radio station with the music you like, we need to align our feelings, thoughts and actions with what we want to see back. How this applies to saying no? When we say NO, we 1) create space for something else and 2) send a clear message that we want something else.
Ok, enough energy and dew of the universe talk…let’s make this practical!
Now I know first hand that saying no can be hard! Especially when it’s a loved one, like a partner or child asking. Remember though, that you are allowed to change your mind and say yes later! Changing a YES to a NO is a bit more challenging.
Areas of NO
These are just a few examples. Feel free to expand based on your own situation!
Family – saying NO to more activities for your kids on a weekly basis can mean a yes to more quality time together.
Friendship – saying no to hanging out with a friend who is negative or drains your energy can be saying yes to the possibilities of new friendships.
Health – saying no to sugar means saying yes to health, confidence and energy.
Money – saying no to a project can mean you have space when a new opportunity pops up.
Work – saying no to taking on extra work means saying yes to setting boundaries and maintaining a balance between work and home.
It’s so personal
I can’t tell you what to say yes and no to, that’s something you need to figure out on your own, for your own personal situation. And to make it more complicated, the things you say no to will shift over time.
I’m not going to leave you like this though. Here’s a bit on the HOW to do it for yourself.
A way to help figure out what to say no to is to start with setting values and goals. Once values and goals are clear for you, it’s easier to make plans, see what your priorities are, and then check if what is being asked aligns with what’s important to you.
One of my values I’ve set for this year is HEALTH. A goal I have in relation to this is to run a half-marathon. To reach this goal I obviously need to train right? And in order to make sure this happens (mom with 3 little kids at home) I need to make sure I give it priority by planning it in.
So some things I could say NO to are therefore:
-NO to staying up late watching Netflix (sleep=health)
-NO to alcohol (makes it hard to run)
-NO to evening networking events (sleep/snacking late)
I could go on…but I think you get the point by now 🙃
Now it’s up to you to decide what to say NO to, so you can create the space to say YES to more of the things that are important to you!
If you have a hard time saying no, knowing what your values, goals or priorities are…reach out and let’s see if I can support you!